Two Steps
by xIrelandx
Summary: Elphaba struggles with her morals when considering her relationship with Fiyero.


"This is wrong." My voice is curt and abrupt. Fiyero turns his head up and gives me one of those sweet, innocent looks that could nearly melt my heart of ice.

He looks guilty. "I'm sorry, Fae, I'm trying, but I've been eating meat since I was a child. It's not an easy habit to break-"

"It isn't that, Yero." His expression grew decidedly dark. He knew this was going to happen.

"We can't do this anymore. We shouldn't have done this in the first place."

"Why?"

"Fiyero, you're married. You have children. I can't do this to another person. How can you?"

I can tell that he is at a loss for words. Is it possible he completely forgot this – that he's married? He has children? He has a life that doesn't involve me?

No. He can't have forgotten. There's no way he could have.

He struggles to find something to say. "I – I love you." I shake my head. "What is that supposed to mean? I do love you!"

"I don't know – I think you're confused."

"No. I'm not. I love you." He says it with more confidence this time. He's no longer trying to convince himself. Now, he's just trying to convince me.

"If you love me, then how can you do this to me? How can you treat me like I'm some sort of whore –"

"You are not a whore," he's no longer just frustrated. He's angry.

"You are a married man. I'm sleeping with a married man –"

"I'm not some stranger you've met off the street, I'm your friend –"

"Who is married." We are now both glaring at one another. It seems we've reached an impasse.

"I was married off when I was seven. I met the girl once before our official marriage. On accident. I was betrothed – I wasn't given a choice. No one in the Vinkus is. We're married off to various people so we don't go out and kill one another. I guess if there is no love, there is no passion. If there is no passion, there is no war, no violence. My parents don't even love one another. I wasn't even sure that love existed," he paused. I could tell he was trying to choose his words carefully. He took to cautious steps toward me. I felt myself tense up. "Until recently."

I scowl and look away. "What makes you think you love me?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I don't think it works that way. I don't think that it has a reason or makes sense. But you're brave, you're passionate, independent and strong. I admire you. You're like an entirely different species of person." I snort. I know he isn't referring to my colour, but I can't help it, nonetheless. He wraps his arms around me. "If nothing else, I love you, as my friend. I didn't have many of those before I came to Shiz, and I love you all."

"But – you must feel something for her. You keep sending her letters."

He shrugs and buries his face in my hair. "Mostly, I send those for my kids, so that they know their father. They barely know me now. She thinks I'm here for business. If I give her reason for alarm, she might send someone out after me."

I start shaking, trying to come up with no excuses. "But –"

"I knew I loved you, that day I saw you cry. I needed to take care of you. I need to take care of you, still. Sarima has never been my friend, never been my lover. She has been my wife. She only existed to have children, because that is all girls like Sarima were taught to do," he kisses the top of my head. "If you don't love me-"

"Don't even start with that rubbish! Of course I love you!" I gasp. I didn't think I'd ever say it. I didn't think I'd ever admit it, even to myself. Fiyero turns me around and forces me to look at him. His eyes are honest and sincere…and happy. He's told me about his life in the Vinkus, about his wife, about his children. But he's never had that look in his eyes.

"I still feel…like this is wrong."

"Part of my life is there by necessity. That is monotony, duty, tradition." He kisses my lips, starting tenderly, then forcefully, oddly licking my lips in the process. I can't count how many times we've met for this purpose, how many times we've been together, but somehow, this is different and meaningful, and it makes me blush. "But most of my life is here with you, by choice. This is passion, freedom, and life.

And if you won't believe my words, perhaps you'll let me show you I love you."


End file.
